I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't deserve a penis
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
