im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
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If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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