I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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