Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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