life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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