you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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