and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
