you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
