Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We need to get me chipped asap
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
