Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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