Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
