i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
