called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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