Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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