just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
