I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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