He felt like a one man threesome
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
