he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
