My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
