I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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