Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
