The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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