Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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