It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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