im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize