Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
