btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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