new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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