He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
