i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
