i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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