Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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