she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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