I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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