every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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