You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
