I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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