This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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