You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
