I cannot find my penis.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
