you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
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I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize