Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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