hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize