So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
