so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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