Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
