You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
