It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
