Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
