I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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