Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
