I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's just like the Real World with babies
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
