just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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