I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
