brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
