Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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