it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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