I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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