you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
