Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
