wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
