Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
