It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
