nut hugger
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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