So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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