I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
