We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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