Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
