I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
