hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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