So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
