it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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