She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
