Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
